


Words

by Epoxide (MiyuTanemura), yeaka



Category: CollegeHumor, Sexually Confused Ninja
Genre: Ficlet Collection, Implied/Referenced Incest, M/M, Vignette, WTF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-09-26 22:24:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9924545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiyuTanemura/pseuds/Epoxide, https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeaka/pseuds/yeaka
Summary: As long as Black Eagle lives, he’ll never stop trying to have sex with White Falcon’s son.





	1. Celebrate

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This will be a collection of otherwise unrelated drabbles and vignettes for the [Sexually Confused Ninja video by CollegeHumor](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPoH78eKqfE). (Warning, this is a light comedy clip but contains implied/referenced incest, necrophilia, and possible sexual coercion.)
> 
> Disclaimer: We don’t own Sexually Confused Ninja or any of its contents, and we’re not making any money off this.

The training went as abysmally as usual, so Lee’s used to the disappointment it earns him. He frowns all the way to his room, but behind the locked door, his father’s raving safely muffled, he lets himself slump in relief. He may be a disgrace to his family name, but the fact that his father still tries to train him with such dedication shows that he won’t be given up on. Sometimes he feels grateful that he’s clearly hit rock bottom, hopefully with nowhere to go but up, but then he always seems to find some other thing to fail at.

He walks to his wardrobe with heavy feet, already drawing open his robe, ready to find something more comfortable to sleep in. Sleep is the only true respite he gets nowadays, and he treats it with reverence. He hasn’t yet opened the wardrobe when a sudden rattling noise catches his attention. He whirls to face the window and sees a pebble ricochet off the glass, plummeting back down towards the earth. With a quick glance to the door—still firmly shut with no new shouts from his father—he darts to slide open the glass before a third rock can come. This, at least, he’s learned well enough: he knows exactly what it means.

Sure enough, the Black Eagle stands alone in the courtyard, dark robes hiding him in the veil of night. How he manages to get through the perimeter, Lee has no idea—clearly, the Black Eagle is a better ninja than he’ll ever be.

The Black Eagle waves furiously for Lee to come down, but as usual, Lee shakes his head. He has nothing to defend himself with. His father won’t let him bring his sword outside the dojo, lest he harm himself, and he’s sad to know it’s too likely. He has no means of coming down anyway; the sides of his home are perilously smooth with no surface for a foothold, and even if there weren’t, he knows he wouldn’t make it.

Perhaps the Black Eagle could, but Lee would only dart for his door and call his father. He may not believe all the horror stories he’s heard of the Black Eagle, but he still knows not to get trapped defenseless with his father’s rival in his bedroom. The Black Eagle dons an annoyed look, strong enough to be seen even through the distance and darkness, and then his hands disappear behind his back. A second later, he’s firing a bow that seemed to come from nowhere, and Lee hurriedly ducks to the side with a little squeak of terror.

The arrow bounces harmlessly off the far wall. Its point is purposely rounded, a scroll tied around the middle. Before Lee checks it, he dares to peek back out the window, but the Black Eagle’s gone.

So he shuts his window and fetches the scroll, untying and unraveling it to read: _Be wary of your father’s teachings, little falcon. ‘Celebrate’ does not mean what you think it means._

Lee pales, though grateful for the warning, and prays _celebrate_ does not mean what _avenge_ does.


	2. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In actuality, Black Eagle never said to _avenge_ on White Falcon at all.

Lee’s wandered past the boundaries of his family’s property, but knowing him, he doesn’t realize it. He likely has no idea what danger he’s waltzed into, and sure enough, when Black Eagle drops from the trees, he gives a weak shout and drops his chopped wood to the forest floor. 

In a heartbeat, Black Eagle’s swooped in, forcing Lee to stumble back a step. He leans forward to seal their mouths together, but Lee, in the first real show of agility Black Eagle’s seen, dodges swiftly to the side. Black Eagle straightens as abruptly as he came, frowning at the sudden change. Lee’s nervous face has worked its way into an uncharacteristic glare, his stance tenser than usual. Black Eagle doesn’t mirror the position; he knows he can hold his own against Lee without any difficulty.

He coos, “What’s wrong, little falcon?” Because Lee was always so receptive before this. Lee’s eyes widen at the question, like he can’t believe Black Eagle would even ask. 

“What’s wrong? You mean _besides_ nearly killing my father?” Lee sounds incredulous, but Black Eagle doesn’t so much as twitch—Lee should know by now that some things will never change. White Falcon is his mortal enemy, whatever _feelings_ exist here. “How about that you lied to me? You _lied_ to me about _everything_!”

“Not everything,” Black Eagle cautiously explains, stepping forward again, only for Lee to warily step back. “What I did say was only out of love.” He doesn’t like to use that word, but it’s one Lee will understand.

For an instant, _hurt_ flickers across Lee’s fair features, then he steels over again and insists, “I should’ve listened to my father—you really are the enemy! I can’t believe I ever listened to you! I thought we were... that we were friends... in spite of everything...”

“We _are_ ,” Black Eagle insists.

But Lee only snarls, “You took advantage of it!”

“I did _not_!” Lee opens his mouth, perhaps to spout more father-fueled lies, but Black Eagle hisses first, “ _You_ were the one that enticed _me_ in the beginning—I saw your sideways glances, heard you pine for me, felt the way your hands would linger too long on me whenever I found my way to you—but we both know you would’ve never been able to act on it, with the way your father kept you caged! He convinced you that to follow your feelings would bring unforgivable shame to your family! Fine, I admit I lied, but only to give you an excuse to _act_ on what you so clearly wanted!” He pauses for breath, the tirade stronger than he meant it, but the disbelieving look on Lee’s face forces him to finish: “And I never _made_ you do a thing. I gave you false information, yes, but it was still _your_ choice to act on it.”

There’s silence in their small enclosure, the dense woods blocking out the rest of the world. Even had Lee not wandered so far, Black Eagle still would’ve made his way through the perimeter for _this_ , to see Lee again after what should’ve been a final freeing from White Falcon’s cruel grip. Lee seems to be digesting it well. 

But then he darkens again and asks, “How was convincing me to act out those desires _on my father_ supposed to help me?”

It’s Black Eagle’s turn to stare blankly. When it becomes obvious that Lee isn’t telling some twisted joke, he repeats, “ _Those_ desires... on your _father_?” Lee nods stiffly, and Black Eagle feels his face contort with disgust. “I never said anything about your father!”

Lee pales suddenly but rushes, “Yes, you did—!”

“Not about that! I said not to let him hold you back! I meant in _life_! You completed conflated two schemes!”

“But... I...”

Black Eagle can practically see Lee’s brain melting under this. He probably doesn’t even know what ‘conflated’ means. 

He stumbles, “But you said... you said it was best to celebrate with the greatest ninja alive...”

“I meant _me_!”

Lee lifts his hand to his mouth. For a moment, it looks like he’s going to be sick. Then he stumbles back into a tall tree, bracing himself against the trunk for support. Black Eagle lets him process this, lets him shrink away and slowly recover again, straightening once more to mumble weakly, “I’m an idiot.”

With an exasperated sigh, Black Eagle tries to comfort, “A cute idiot.”

He comes closer, and this time Lee doesn’t move away, but he does turn his head aside at the last minute and whisper, “This wasn’t a ploy to spite my father?”

“No, little falcon,” Black Eagle promises, “That’s merely a happy coincidence for me.”

A guilty smile tugs at the corner of Lee’s mouth, reminiscent of their days before this mess, before Lee pulled away, before the secret messages stopped coming. Black Eagle’s infinitely glad he went to investigate. 

He loops a finger under Lee’s dimpled chin and draws Lee’s face to him, this time pressing a gentle kiss across Lee’s lips. Lee has the same shy, tentative response he always does. The last time Black Eagle tried something like this, it was over White Falcon’s bleeding body, and Lee was conflicted and confused, strangely begrudging. Now Black Eagle understands why.

Sure enough, now that the misunderstanding’s passed, Lee pulls back to catch Black Eagle’s eyes, and he slowly lowers himself to his knees: his favourite fantasy. The one Black Eagle tried so adamantly to fulfill. Lee’s hands land on Black Eagle’s belt, and Black Eagle opens his mouth to purr encouragement, but they’re interrupted by a sudden roar through the trees:

“LEE? LEE!”

White Falcon. Lee tenses, quickly jumping back to his feet. Black Eagle reaches for the sword at his hip, but Lee tells him sharply, “No.”

Despite the strength of the command, the hesitance in Lee’s eyes is almost adorable. Even now, he isn’t sure enough of anything. For Lee, Black Eagle releases his grip on the hilt of his side. 

He gives Lee an encouraging nod, then leaps back into the cover of the trees, gone before the White Falcon can ruin yet another pleasant coupling.


	3. Ooops...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all pt's fault!  
> I don't even know what I did, but I think I went a bit out there. Dunno if it's a good thing... OTL  
> But, here's my contribution to this insanity...

It was a normal day, warm weather and just the fluffy cloud strolling through the blue sky. Suddenly a growl cut through the usual village noises the same way a kunai cuts through rice paper. The ground shook with the growling that seemed to come from the skies and propagate through the entire world.

Everybody from the village met at the central square. All the colours from all the houses mixing together while an air of unease spread out. Brown Owl reached the center and gathered the attention of everyone. He was one of the elders, after all.

“Now, let’s calm down. We don’t know what provoked this so-“

The ground shook again, cutting the elder’s tirade.

A large cloud of greenish-grey smoke rose from the ground, an intense smell of sulfur spreading through the square. As the cloud dissipated a large figure – heck, it was easily the size of Olive Ostrich, _three times_! – appeared. It had a humanoid body but the head was that of a crocodile, the scaly skin glistening strangely under the sunshine.

“I’ve come to get my tribute.” It said in a gravelly voice, the ground underfoot shaking with the rumble it produced.

“Huh, excuse me. But what do you mean?” Brown Owl asked, confused.

The glare the question produced made many gasps leave throats, even from the most seasoned ninjas from the village.

“It was accorded that I would receive a tribute from your village, in exchange of my protection. Well, my slumber… don’t you have any records saying that every ninety years I’ll come here and demand for the sacrifice? A _virgin_ sacrifice.”

“Ah… ah… you see, our records were kind of burned during the last war with Lizard village…” Brown Owl was excusing himself, hands rubbing nervously and a spot of sweat starting to form on the back of his neck.

“I don’t care about that. I want my tribute!” The creature demanded, stomping a foot and making the houses closest to it collapse.

“Can you give us a little time to deliberate on a worthy tribute to you?” Yellow Hummingbird asked, going to stand beside Brown Owl.

Smoke escaped from the creature’s nostrils, a show of impatience.

“Very well. I’ll give you until sunset and then I’ll come to get my tribute.” And with a tremble of the ground, what looked like a wave of dirt rose and engulfed him. The creature disappeared.

There was a beat of silence and the Brown Owl cleared his throat.

“I think that the council has to reunite. We must deliberate for the future of our village is at stake.”

* * *

 

“Don’t’ worry, father. I’ll help you to the Council room.” Lee said as he helped White Falcon to the center of the square where most of the elders were already. He could feel the approving look his mother was giving him. The elders welcomed the pair and slowly, Lee helped his father into the room – it was just the second time he entered it – and helped him sit in one of the cushions. He worried at how his father wasn’t hiding his discomfort as stoically as usual.

“I’ll be fine, Lee. Now go and help your mother. You still have a lot of work to do.” White Falcon said with a wave.

“Yes, father.” Lee agreed but he wasn’t thinking about obeying. Who knew, if his father needed him, after the meeting? So he rested against the wall of the building. One window was open and he could hear random bits of the conversation. He gulped as he heard his name.

That was when he decided that he didn’t want to hear more.

* * *

The sunset came and the creature returned with a loud noise. The whole village reunited once more, the younger ninjas looking frightened.

“So. Who’s going to be this year’s tribute?” The creature asked, rows of sharp, shiny white teeth gleaming in the orangish light.

“We appoint Lee, son of White Falcon, as the tribute.” Brown Owl said in a booming voice.

Lee was shocked!

He was pushed forward until he was standing before the creature. A redness rising to his cheeks.

The creature leaned downwards and sniffed around Lee. A confused and increasingly unimpressed expression on its features.

“This tribute is no virgin!” He yelled, irate.

“What!?”

There was a general wave of confusion in the midst of the crowd. White Falcon promptly stepped forward to deny the accusation.

“You’ve got to be lying. My son is untouched, just like a snow lily after a snowfall.” He said vehemently.

Lee opened his mouth to say something but he was interrupted by a laugh. A laugh he knew pretty well.

The crowd parted around Black Eagle as he cackled and sauntered forward.

“It was I, Black Eagle, who took your son’s virginity, White Falcon. Didn’t I tell you? I wouldn’t stop. And I didn’t.” He let another gleeful laugh.

White Falcon’s mouth fell open in shock. Then an enraged yell fell from his mouth and he rushed towards Black Eagle, sword in hand and unmindful of his still unhealed injuries. The sound of swords clashing permeated the village square, people getting out of the way of the two crazed ninjas.

The sound of stone grinding against gravel and clapping made people aware that the creature was still there. Laughing, apparently, at the occurrence.

“I did not expect to see such a funny scene here. Very well, this was entertaining enough. I won’t need a tribute after all.” It said while still clapping. “ _But_ , I will take your food.” It extended its arms to the sides and a cloud of food seemed to surround him.

There was a generalized shock at that and then the creature disappeared in a swirl of dirt before their eyes. Well, except for Black Eagle and White Falcon who were glaring at each other, only separated by their swords. And then, Black Eagle disappeared, making the older man lose his balance and fall to his knees, a grunt escaping his lips.

Black Falcon appeared in front of Lee, who started and gasped as arms curled around his waist.

“I told you I was going to get what I’d promised, right?” And with that, he kissed Lee right in front of the whole village before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

Lee stood there, tomato-red. Not knowing what to do as he was left in the spotlight like that.

He did notice that his father was deathly pale but the very discernible laughter of his mother soon was joined by the rest of the village people.

Lee hid his face in his hands.

He had to have a certain conversation with Black Eagle.


	4. Sunset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for this wtf fandom. It's so fun.  
> Well, I just had the idea for the ending scene and things went from there. Yay for cuteness?

Another day of grueling training had ended and Lee was feeling a little down. Not that was an unusual occurrence. He always felt like he was such a failure to his father.

But he tried.

He tried and _tried_ his hardest.

However it seemed like nothing worked.

His father wasn’t too pleased with his apparent lack of improvement. It wasn’t easy.

And just days before he’d been caught after a prank he’d thrown with Green Parrot. They’d ended up having to clean the main square of the village under the vigilant eyes of the elders.

It hadn’t been easy – who would have imagined that that ink was going to be so hard to remove?

So all of that made him want to get a little distance from the village and everything that might happen and implicate him. Lee honestly didn’t know how he ended up in such predicaments.

Sometimes the things people said…

No… it couldn’t be that.

It wasn’t the whole “avenging” situation all over again. Lee knew better now.

Kind of.

But whenever he felt like that he would climb the wall that protected the village from one side, the rough stone housed a small forest at the top and Lee did enjoy to be surrounded by the greenery.

Suddenly, he rolled to the side, standing up with a jump and instantly taking a defensive stance. His reflexes were so quick that his head momentarily swam as he took in the shadow that was approaching him. The metallic noise of something vibrating faintly echoing.

“Bravo.” There was a slow clap as the newcomer got closer.

“Black Eagle.” Lee stated in a dull voice.

“Yes, it is I, Black Eagle.” The other said, puffing his chest a little.

“I don’t have patience for you today. I had a bad day.” Lee said impatiently, turning his back on the other. “Don’t need to have your amazingness rubbed on my face.” He muttered.

But still, Black Eagle walked closer.

“What did you say?” he said mellifluously.

“Nothing! Shut up. Let me be.” Lee turned to glare at the other.

“Why would I do that?” Black Eagle said against Lee’s ear. He had curled his arms around Lee and was squeezing, making the younger ninja relax slightly.

“Don’t mock me!” Lee continued, feeling annoyed. He was sure that Black Eagle had something planned. Well, he didn’t have patience for that.

Lee’s arm was held and suddenly he was flipped onto his back, Black Eagle calmly straddling his chest.

“I’m not mocking you, my little rough diamond. You shouldn’t feel like that when it’s not your fault that you’re being made to feel like that.” Hands were roaming distractedly over Lee’s torso.

“I… I don’t get what you mean.” Lee said, a frown marring his features. “But you’re just toying with me. I heard what you told my father.” He gave a hard push that dislodged Black Eagle from his body, making him land on his ass. He was smiling. Well, smirking, really. There was a hard edge there.

“And why do you think I said that?” He asked, deadpan.

“How am I supposed to know? Apparently I’m just a pawn in the middle of that feud of yours. You don’t have any interest in me. I don’t matter.” The last words were said in a small voice, dejectedly.

All of a sudden, lips were pressing against his, a firm pressure that was enhanced due to the hand that was holding the back of his head. He had nowhere to go. His mouth started to open, he wanted to protest but the other let go of him.

Lee flushed beet red.

“What the-?” He ended up stuttering.

“You’re really something, Lee…” Black Eagle shook his head, a small smile on his lips and one hand poised on his hip. “But you’re wrong. I do have ulterior reasons for having set my sights on you – and they don’t exactly have to do with my feud with your father. No.”

“I… don’t understand.” Lee said, dejected once more.

“You don’t have to. Yet.” Black Eagle said with a seriousness that belied his previous amusement. “And with that, I’ll go. I just wanted to check on you.” And he took a step away.

“Wait!” Lee said suddenly, making the other stop and look at him inquisitively. “Thanks. Can we sit, for a bit? Then?”

“Very well.” Black Eagle conceded.

The two ninjas went to the edge of the stone wall and sat down, legs dangling into the void, thighs separated by a palm, at most.

The sun was setting, painting the sky with bright reds and oranges, followed by lavender that turned into purple and dark blue.

Suddenly Lee grabbed Black Eagle’s hand.

No words were exchanged but Black Eagle squeezed his hand. He squeezed back. Somehow he was feeling better.

“Thank you.” Lee whispered, without looking at the other.

They remained that way until the sun had completely set and a dark, starry sky was above them.


	5. Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee wants a name.

The village is quiet at night—most aren’t foolish enough to prowl under the low light of the stars; that’s when the black birds swarm. But not even the ravens would dare touch Black Eagle’s little falcon, and he’s pleased to find that, once again, Lee has broken curfew.

Perched on the edge of the central fountain, Lee sits alone, his melancholy gaze lost in the rippling water. It’s vaguely impressive that he managed to sneak out at all—surely, White Falcon would do his utmost to prevent such escapes, at least when unsupervised. Black Eagle watches from the nearby trees, waiting to see if Lee’s family will rush to his protection, but nothing else in the village stirs. Black Eagle is still carefully quiet on his approach, darting from shadow to shadow in practiced speed. When he’s reached the open village square, he flies at his prey, and grabs Lee from behind, earning a startled squawk and gasp. 

Black Eagle only locks his arms tighter around his lover. Lee’s robes are too thick, but nothing lies beneath, and they ride too high up his thighs—it’s easy to duck one hand beneath the slit and trace Lee’s creamy skin. Into Lee’s ear, he purrs, “Good evening, my little falcon.”

Most unusually, Lee elbows him sharply in the stomach. With a grunt, Black Eagle absorbs it, but he lets go anyway and lets Lee shoulder out of his grasp. Lee shuffles over along the fountain, its bubbling covering the noise. In the pale light of the stars, Black Eagle can see his sullen expression. He mutters miserably, “Not tonight.”

Black Eagle slides closer, donning a seductive grin, and coos, “Why ever not? It’s the perfect time, out under the moon, without your father leering over your shoulder...”

“So you can’t try to stab him,” Lee bitterly retorts. It sobers Black Eagle instantly, and he straightens with a frown.

In a pinched voice, he says, “You know that can’t be changed.” It’s the one thing Black Eagle won’t do for Lee; the falcon feud runs too long, too deep. It’s out of his hands. But Lee doesn’t pursue, just turns back to the water, and that pushes Black Eagle to press: “...What’s truly troubling you, Lee?”

“Maybe your lies,” Lee says, but there’s no malice in it. Black Eagle says nothing, and then Lee winces and looks at him again, features screwed up in regret. “I’m sorry, it’s not... it’s not you.” Black Eagle waits patiently, and after a minute of fussing with the tie of his robe, Lee bursts, “It’s just that I’m the only one in the village of age who’s still _Lee_! Men even younger than me are titled! I have no name!”

“‘Lee’ is a fine name,” Black Eagle insists, but Lee just shakes his head and keeps going.

“But it’s not! I should have a _proper_ one by now, with a full colour and a bird!”

Black Eagle can’t resist purring, “Like _Little Falcon_?”

Lee turns a delightful pink, squirming along the stone rim of the fountain. He averts his eyes and mutters, “No. With a _colour_...”

He falls quiet again, and Black Eagle thinks. The silence stretches, broken only by the little waterfall. Eventually, it comes to him, and Black Eagle grins, suggesting: “Pink Bushtit.”

Lee scrunches up his nose, flushing a brighter scarlet. So Black Eagle laughs and presses, “No; you are my little falcon, and that is that.” Before Lee can protest, Black Eagle darts forward to scoop an arm around his waist and draw him in for a full kiss that Lee opens right up to. Black Eagle slips his tongue inside, swirls around, tastes the warm mouth of his greatest enemy’s son, and lets it linger as long as he can manage. He kisses Lee as deeply as he can, and only wrenches back when a throwing star whistles past his head.

It hits and bounces off the central carving of the fountain, landing with a loud splash in the water. Black Eagle’s on his feet in an instant, and sure enough, White Falcon comes bursting through the village, eyes ablaze.

Only out of courtesy to Lee’s mood, Black Eagle calls, “Farewell, Pink Bushtit!” and darts back to the trees.


	6. Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How everything began: my take, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's continue with the madness, shall we?  
> So... I just wanted to have an idea about why Black Eagle had taken an interest in Lee, and White Falcon's determination in stopping them (which will end up with him fighting to protect his son). I don't even, okay?  
> I just suddenly have a lot of feels, okay? OTL

It wasn’t common knowledge that White Falcon was, as his wife put it, a father hen.

He worried immensely about Lee who seemed to not catch things as quickly as the others and that his group of friends goofed around too much for his taste.

Of course that White Falcon had many things to do but, there was always a little corner of his thought that was thinking about Lee.

The teachers told him how we had been steadily improving but White Falcon needed more. He had to reinforce the teachings and bring Lee to follow the grandiose family history. Okay, there were quite a few deaths – they were ninjas, after all, and death was always lurking in their line of work – but his family had done well, they had status, he had a seat in the council of elders.

So, he had to push Lee a little harder than other parents, where was the harm in that? He loved his son dearly. And that was enough.

His Lee had something that shone inside, despite his slow manners and awkwardness. It was his duty as father to protect him. Needless to say that his wife just shook her head and called him a sap. She knew that Lee would come out well and she was always there to encourage her son. White Falcon was slightly jealous because she was able to see his improvement way before him. That ended making him push his son harder. But the boy never wavered, he kept insisting even when he failed his training, spending more time reading the old scrolls and practicing his katas.

And then, the day White Falcon feared so much happened.

He wasn’t even aware that he was afraid of such a thing happening but, at the end of the school year, during the classes exhibition, it happened.

Lee was caught in another’s sight.

And that person wasn’t any simple student, no. It _had_ to be the _Black Eagle_.

There had been a feud between his family and the other’s. And now the comparisons in the continuation of the family honour were starting, a low buzzing in the village’s gossip mill.

And they were saying that Lee didn’t hold a candle to Black Eagle.

Even if that Black Eagle runt was a few years older than Lee, he’d always been at the top of the class, exceeding at everything, being the perfect little ninja. Even if he was still a student.

And Lee, on the contrary, he was just hanging on in his classes. He was _average_ – and that word left a sour taste in White Falcon’s mouth – even though his dear wife had forbidden him from saying that, heck, even from _thinking_ that. His hair had started falling with the slaps she’d started giving him as punishment.

Alas, even at the Elders Council, White Falcon felt like he was losing.

But now, the interest Black Eagle had somehow taken in Lee… it needed to be stopped.

Lee wouldn’t hold a candle to the older and much more proficient and powerful ninja. No, if it came to that, White Falcon would stand in the way and stop Black Eagle.

It was his duty to his son. He had to be _protected_.

Lee’s home practices started getting more rigorous, more tiring. He could see that Lee was starting to get unmotivated, depressed as he never seemed to be able to reach the level White Falcon set to him. However, White Falcon couldn’t let his fatherly emotions get in the way. He was his son but he was also a ninja and emotions were meant to be hid. A ninja had to do his job. Nothing else mattered.

And in this case, the job was protecting Lee.

White Falcon nearly shuddered as he remembered the look the runt had given his son.

* * *

A few years passed and Lee was a better ninja, he’d managed to get his certificate and had been in missions but he was pretty much house bound, only allowed the odd break to hang out with his friends – and be punished because of the troubles they got in.

Many times, White Falcon felt grateful for not having hair anymore. If he had it would be white and possibly falling due to the worries Lee put him through.

Somehow, his ploy had worked so far and he’d managed to keep the Black Eagle away from his son. It was actually a good thing that the other ninja was so good, almost to the Elders Council level, because he was sent away frequently. Thankfully Lee’s missions were close by, at a day’s distance, at most.

One afternoon he was sitting with his son, showing him one of the secret techniques of the family, when he heard a noise. His wife had left, gone to see her family about some festivity, so it couldn’t be her. And he thought that only he and Lee were at home.

Making the gesture for _silence_ and _stay there_ to Lee, White Falcon stood up and grabbed one of his swords. He had a feeling about _who_ it might be. He was sensing the energy even though it was pretty well-hidden.

The gall of that nobody!

To come to his home!

Silently and quickly, White Falcon materialized behind Black Eagle. The kid was good, he instantly felt him and turned around, a volley of shuriken coming White Falcon’s way. He quickly took care of them and metal met metal, the noise echoing through the cosy little garden. White Falcon glared at the other, who just seemed amused and cocky. His facial air contributing to the urge to punch him in the face.

A growl was stuck in White Falcon’s throat but he let it out, his senses sharpening and the cold fury starting to rush through his limbs, strengthening them.

They started fighting, the little weasel that was Black Eagle managing to take them towards the inside of the house and, incidentally, towards where Lee was still waiting. His whereabouts were changing way too fast, he was being directed towards Lee and it he didn’t like that one bit.

He was pushed inside the room, Lee’s voice suddenly slicing through the fog and momentarily distracting him. And then, there was pain.

The stabbing hurt but seeing the worried look on his son somehow hurt worse.

White Falcon’s whole attention converged to Lee, so he didn’t notice how Black Eagle seemingly left the room.

What followed was a very, very awkward conversation with his son – he really didn’t have a smart son, how unlucky was he?? – but in the end Lee managed to make him proud, finally getting one concept correct…

He was pleased to see the happiness in his son’s face even though it was now marred with a smudge of his blood, from where he’d proudly cupped his face.

Sadly that moment of happiness was broken by the pesky Black Eagle when he returned to the room to gloat. And to make a vow that made a shudder run down White Falcon’s spine.

Blood was still oozing from his wound, pooling underneath him and he was starting to get a little hazy but he let out a wordless yell, activating one of the traps and pushing Black Eagle from his propriety.

Lee was looking at him with wide eyes.

“Father…” his hands hovered over his torso once again – the stab of apprehension returned momentarily to White Falcon – trembling a little. “You’re going to get well. Don’t worry. I’ll call mother and bring the needed implements.” With that, he left the room in a hurry.

“You’re not supposed to leave me like this, Lee.” Said White Falcon in a raspy mumble before darkness taking over everything.

As he slipped into unconsciousness he was only sure that he wouldn’t let Black Eagle get away with his ill-fated plan.

He would protect his son.


	7. Waterfall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another lil' installment of silliness.  
> Am I supposed to know what's going on here? No, right? xD  
> Beware the silliness.  
> Also, warning: non-explicit hand-job.

The horizon was just turning grey with the first rays of sunlight when Lee arrived at the waterfall.

His breath was coming in short puffs, misting before him. it was cold but he didn’t feel it, the too steep climb to the waterfall having heated him enough.

It wasn’t going to be an easy task, getting into the gelid waters but it was his task for the morning and he was going to do it.

With a sigh Lee disrobed, folding his clothes neatly and placing them on top of a stone. Then he entered the freezing waters, a noise of discomfort choking on his throat as he headed deeper into the clear waters, heading towards the waterfall. The small waves crashing against his thighs and making him make displeased noises as he wandered further into the cold water. Finally the fine mist coming from the waterfall started to waft over him, making goose bumps raise on his skin. The cold water was surrounding him and, with a sigh, Lee went under the waterfall.

It was a shock. The rush of water sliding over him, enveloping him, shutting down his senses, making the world become only him and the rushing sheet of water that was falling, the stone he was sitting on still too cold and a shock to him.

Lee allowed his mind to empty, all the thoughts and worries and insecurities going away with the water that cascaded over him.

How long should he be under the water for the purification ritual?

He’d _forgotten_ to ask.

For one moment he felt like slapping himself.

Unfortunately that wasn’t exactly a new feeling…

No wonder he was such a disgrace to his family, to his father.

But…

No!

He had to clear his mind of such thoughts.

More water rushed through him.

It wasn’t so bad being under the rushing water now. Lee had gotten used to it and it was kind of soothing.

Suddenly, there was a disturbance in the water. Lee frowned, opening his eyes. He saw a dark form moving towards him.

Slowly adjusting his stance, Lee flung himself towards it, tackling the figure into the water with a loud splash. He felt the other person move, but Lee kept his eyes shut and did him impersonation of an octopus, curling around the clothed frame as they touched the bottom of the small lake.

The other started struggling more forcefully, making them end up in a slightly compromising position – that made Lee open his eyes and see who he’d tackled.

As he saw who it was his mouth opened in a gasp, water instantly filling it.  Choking on the water, Lee let go of the other as he rushed to the surface. He coughed the water and hacked for a while as the other stood, an amused smile on his lips.

“What are...” Lee cut himself, coughing roughly, “… you doing here?” He glared at the other as he tried to regain his breath. “Why are you here Black Eagle?”

“Why, little bird, I heard that you had a different morning routine today.” The amusement wasn’t hard to notice.

Lee pouted.

“As usual, you’re making fun of me, huh?” He crossed his arms in a slightly defensive stance.

“Why would I do that?” Black Eagle inquired, slowly wadding closer to Lee.

The younger man gulped and couldn’t help but take a step back, feeling way too exposed – he was naked, after all.

“Because that’s what you do.” Lee replied, his voice trembling in the last words. His hands strategically placing themselves before him.

Black Eagle tilted his head to the side. Begrudgingly Lee couldn’t help but admire the way the black clothes clung to the other’s frame in a sexy way. He zoned out a bit but came to himself as he realized the other was speaking.

“I wouldn’t do that to you, little bird.” His left hand came up to brush against Lee’s cheek, gentle fingers pushing the stray hairs from his face before cupping his face. “You know that.”

“I never know for sure what you’ll do.” Lee replied bitterly even if he leaned into the hand.

“Ah, but you should know better.” Black Eagle stepped closer into Lee’s space, pushing him against the polished stone wall behind the waterfall. “You’ve been listening to your father again, haven’t you?”

“You know that-“ Lee was stopped as a finger pressed against his lips.

“You know that your old man is wrong. And I’ve never wronged you, have I? I always took the time to explain you all you needed to know.”

Lee grabbed the hand and intertwined their fingers.

“I know but…” Lee lowered his eyes, unable to look at Black Eagle.

“But, nothing.” Black Eagle leaned forward, his lips brushing softly against Lee’s. “You know that you can trust me.” He concluded as he pressed his body more fully against Lee’s.

“Oi. Y-you’re-“ Lee stammered.

“Of course. You know that you’re the only one to make me feel like this.” Black Eagle pecked Lee’s lips. “And I think that I’m not the only one to have a similar effect.” He said with mirth as he, no doubt, felt Lee’s hardness pressing against his thigh.

Lee blushed profusely, not even the cold – but not so overwhelmingly cold – water was able to make him cool down. A _squeak_ -like noise left his mouth as calloused fingers wrapped around his hardness and started moving at a leisurely pace.

“Do me too?” Black Eagle asked, though it had a firm command underneath the words.

Lee didn’t take long to comply, even if there was some awkwardness due to the skin-tight clothes that clung to the other’s body. The sigh that followed had Lee’s lips stretch into an awkward smile.

For some moments the waterfall muffled every sound as the duo took their time to pleasure each other.

As before, time stretched and Lee’s awareness shrunk to the noises of water and the pleasure he was eliciting in Black Eagle. It was quite empowering, to reduce such an impressive ninja into a whimpering mess. Then again, he couldn’t say anything since he was the same way…

Pleasure rushed through him, the same way that the water had been before. And he really couldn’t last for long.

That thought had barely formed in his pleasure-addled mind when he fell over the edge, whiteness blinding him as he gave an unconscious tighter squeeze, his legs wobbling before giving in.

He only didn’t go under because Black Eagle pinned him to the wall, even in the throes of pleasure he was always considerate and protective of Lee.

Both men disentangled from the other, floating to the other side of the waterfall, into the real world. The sun was shining brightly over the treetops and Lee was feeling pretty well, in a boneless kind of way.

“That was…” Lee started saying.

“Great, as always.” Black Eagle completed his sentence. He seemed to have regained his energy as he quickly straightened Lee, hands on his hips, the water lapping gently at their hips. “Lee.”

“Yes?”

“I’m glad I was able to help you with your purification ritual.” Black Eagle said with a wink before getting out of the water and disappearing into the forest.

Lee stood, frozen.

He placed his face in his hands and let out a whine as he slowly submerged himself. The water calming him slightly.

 _Why did it always had to end up like this?_ He expelled his breath in a series of bubbles.

As he stood up and walked to where he’d laid his clothes he shook his head, water flying in all directions.

He kind of couldn’t help but want a repeat…


	8. Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> White Falcon’s appalled at Black Eagle sealing the deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Fill for epoxide’s “49. “Im too sober for this” Black Eagle/Lee” request on [my tumblr](http://yeaka.tumblr.com/) [from this list](http://yeaka.tumblr.com/post/160417565360/prompt-list).

He practically kicks the door open in his rage, and Lee goes scrambling to his feet from where he was sprawled out on the pillows, face buried in another of those trashy harlequin romance scrolls White Falcon can never seem to throw out fast enough. He should be out _practicing_ , improving his swordsmanship and clearly much-needed defense lessons, but of course, Lee never does what he’s supposed to do. White Falcon thrusts out the notebook he’s found, turned to a most disturbing page, and demands to know: “What is this insanity?”

With eyes as wide and wild as his hair, Lee looks at his own handwriting. ‘ _Lee Eagle_ ’ is scrawled from top to bottom, in differing swirled letters with random hearts for punctuation. White Falcon nearly had a heart attack when he found it. Lee hasn’t even earned the Falcon name yet, nor even his own colour, and this is just _absurd_. White Falcon bores accusatory holes into his son while Lee just stands there looking flabbergasted.

Finally, as pale as his robes, Lee lifts one hand, and White Falcon’s eyes fall to the golden band stretched around his ring ringer. For one horrible moment, White Falcon thinks he’s going to be sick. He _is_ sick. He’s raised a foolish traitor of a son.

Lee squeaks, “The, uh... Black Eagle... mayhaveaskedmetomarryhim.” It comes out in a harried rush that makes it no easier to hear. Then, while Whit Falcon’s blood boils to the pressure of lava, Lee hesitantly adds, brows knit together, “At least, I think that’s what ‘engaged’ means...”

White Falcon doesn’t even know what to say. He’s beyond words. Obviously, this is just another horrid plot to get into Lee’s pants, as will be all but mandatory on the wedding night, but he hadn’t thought Lee would be so dense as to actually _go along with it._ Worse, once they’re _married_ , they’ll be able to fornicate all the damn time—

Lee mumbles a timid, “I’m sorry, father,” then rambles, “but the Black Eagle really loves me, I swear! And he said—”

White Falcon doesn’t care and announces right over it, “I’m too sober for this!”

He turns towards the door before glaring back at Lee and hissing, “Don’t move a muscle!” Then he ambles out into the hallway, where he has to steady himself against a wall before making it the rest of the way to the wine cabinet. He’s never needed a drink so bad in his life, but it’s also an excuse to get out of the room and discard his sword before he does something stupid.

When he returns to the room, bottle in hand, he finds that Lee’s moved a lot more than one muscle.

Lee’s bride-style in Black Eagle’s arms, perched on the pane of the wide, open window. Black Eagle grins broadly and flicks a card at White Flacon with the hand holding up Lee’s knees.

It’s a wedding invitation. Black Eagle chuckles, “See you at the head table, father-in-law!”

And then he leaps backwards out the window, a sheepish-looking Lee cradled in his arms, and White Flacon chucks the bottle right after them before racing back for his sword.


End file.
